What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Is a man who enjoys anal sex considered a sissy? For those who think so, why can't they be thought of as someone who enjoys a variety of sexual pleasure?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Why did my 2001 4.6 liter Mustang GT V8 make "only" 260 HP while today's base Dodge 3.6 liter V6 churns out almost 300 HP? Both benefit from fuel injection and ECUs.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

If we do not know the name of the father of a child, e.g. a foundling, an illegitimate, etc., then to whom should the bin or the binti of the child's name be applied?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”